Seasonal Berries gets cosy with Tracey Cox to find out how to make this Valentine’s Day one to remember.
Tracey Cox is an international sex, body language and relationships expert, author and TV presenter. She has an academic background in psychology and travels the world doing television, radio and print interviews on her specialist subjects.
Tracey’s six international bestselling titles – including superflirt, superdate and Hot Relationships – have sold over a million books. Her TV shows include The Sex Inspectors (C4), Would Like to Meet (BBC2), Under One Roof (ITV) and Date Patrol (Discovery). Tracey is UK Glamour magazine’s relationships coach; she has a weekly column in Closer magazine and is resident ‘sexpert’ for ivillage.com.
Tracey’s latest book, which is out now, is called ‘The Sex Doctor’ (£7.99, Corgi Books). Go to www.traceycox.com to find out more.
So, Tracey, can you tell us the secret of attraction?
It’s about being confident in your own skin. People who like themselves are sexy and popular because they’re easy to be around. Of course, as much as it is all about what’s happening on the inside, packaging up the outside is important too! Make the most of what you’ve got, focus on your good points and minimise what’s not so great – then get out there, smile, and be interested in other people. We all like people who are interested in us.
Do you have any top tips for our readers to make them irresistible to the opposite sex?
Learn to read body language to discover who’s interested in you and who isn’t. Here are some signs to tell if the person you’ve got your eye on is interested in you:
For him:
She’ll look at your mouth a lot. She’s imagining what it would be like to kiss you.
She’ll do a whisper and lean. If she lowers her voice and moves her head close to yours, she’s inviting you to share her personal space. It’s a thinly disguised ploy – if she speaks so quietly, you’re almost obliged to lean forward – but it works every time!
She might let a strap fall off a shoulder. Revealing a shoulder is incredibly provocative. So is a glance back over one or stroking her own.
For her:
He’ll serve you an eyebrow flash. When we first see someone we’re attracted to, our eyebrows rise and fall. If they like us back, they raise their eyebrows. The whole thing lasts about a fifth of a second and it happens everywhere in the world. It can tell you he fancies you before he even realises it himself.
He’ll try to attract your attention. Any exaggerated movement or gesture usually means he’s trying to stand out from the crowd. A loud burst of laughter, big gestures – all are signs. Another giveaway – he’ll unconsciously detach from his friends by standing slightly apart.
He’ll stand with his hands on his hips. This accentuates his physical size and suggests body confidence.
What do you think is the most important thing to help keep a long-term relationship exciting and fulfilling?
The key thing is recognising that you have to work at making it feel new and fresh. If you decided to become a gourmet cook, you would buy lots of cook books, experiment with new dishes, practise cooking and mealtimes would be pretty interesting; you wouldn’t simply expect to become a great cook without putting in the effort. But this is exactly what we do with our relationships. We fall in love and expect that to magically make it all work long-term. It doesn’t – sadly. You need to plan your time together so it’s fun and exciting.
Do you have any advice for any of our readers who are still looking for love?
Do one new thing a week. You’d be amazed at the amount of people who complain about not being able to find love but when I quiz them where they look for it, they go to the same place week in, week out. If you haven’t found love at your local pub, it’s possibly time to try somewhere new rather than spend yet another Saturday night in a row there! It’s a numbers game: the more new people you meet, the more likely you are to find someone you like.
Berries have long been viewed as an aphrodisiac. Do you agree and if so, why?
The idea of berries being sexy is absolutely true. Strawberries and raspberries contain exceptionally high levels of zinc which is undoubtedly the most important mineral for sexual arousal and fertility.
Ayurvedic medicine believes eating raspberries increases the speed of blood circulation and causes a facial flush. The brain makes a subconscious link between flushed skin and sexual arousal, and rosy cheeks are the most powerful indicator of attraction.
In addition to their physical effect, staining your lips with a little of the raspberry’s juice is another good tip as naturally red glossy lips increase your sexual attractiveness tenfold. You will also taste delicious!
Personally I think the more raspberries you eat, the sexier you look and feel – which can only be a good thing for you and your relationship.
How would you recommend using berries, especially strawberries and raspberries, for an extra special Valentines Day?
Berries are the perfect addition to a glass of champagne – very sophisticated, not to mention delicious. They’re also the perfect food to feed each other – add a few wickedly sinful chocolates to the mix and you have all the ingredients for a wonderfully decadent day.
Which berries are your favourite and why?
Raspberries. I not only love the flavour but I love the texture of them. They feel like velvet!
